Thursday, March 27, 2008

this is the real truth...
what's inside of me....
and it refers to NO ONE!
pls.
ok?
haizzzzz.
how to say this?
ok.
lets start with why i never go to skool AGAIN today.
erm..
partly...
my eyes blacky(bengkak)...
smlm cry like hell.
my mom sick. cannot wake up and keep saying she wanted to die...
haizzzzz.
i'm damn heartbroken.
who wants thier mother to pass away right?
but everythin was normal now
NOW. im making this post crying. i dunno why. even though that is yest sorry.
i just felt like this world began to left me behind.
ppl began to hate me.
ppl began to leave me.
ermmm y?
maybe im damn to fcuking attitude thats y.
i noe im putting this feeling at this blog the way i wanted cos im sure nobody gonna read it.
im not that popular right?
ok fine.
evrybody keep saying this and i noe its lame...
"I FELT LIKE KILLING MYSELF!"
yeah this sentence u've would probably find anywhere....
yeah i noe.
but for me, it had this one great impact on my life.
of course, u felt like evrybody hated u..evrything left u bhind........
if i deserve to die i will.
gosh this damn heart keeps evrything.
yeah..u'll see. from the outside..i'm just like a simple funny girl enjoying her life.
but the inside.
IT HURTS.
A LOT.
like my frend always says,
we have to remain strong.
if i was an outsider, looking back on this shafiqah life, I WILL CRY.
u will see evrybody on her life was hrt.
NOT HAPPY.
my father was becoming more and more miserable.
why those ppl have to keep doing things to make his life worst?
haizzzzzzzzzzz.
do i have to cry for him?
i kept thinking in my mind....
NVM..
this is just a cobaan from allah to my family...
thinking back bout my mom's health...
will only make me cry more.
she's my MOM!
i dont want her to leave me....
she's evrything to me...
even though we always fight....
she will still be my mom.
my brother...
was supposed to get his schools result today.
but didn't even get any news...
why is our life like this?
why in all families its ours?
and me?
the worse.
evrything happens evrywhere evrytime.
it wouldn't stop.
cos u noe ur the most hated person in this world.
ur nothing.
ur ugly.
seriously...to know that U R NOTHING just hurts....
yeah by reading this..
u would say that u dont hate me...
but as u noe me...u WILL hate me.
this is so dreadful!
it just hurts and i let it go by crying.
do i need to cry evryday?
sometimes ppl just don't noe that they said something that is hurting to me;
they didn't even noe it.
yeaahh
it keep getting worse and worse.
getting more dreadful....
my family become more...down....
and i wont say my mom will leave me.
SHE WONT!
i dont care.
if i was fated to be alone.
ALLAH take evry prson i love,
i will die too.
bcos life doesn't mean anything to me animore.
after these "accidents"
ive realised...
im nothing.......
even if i were to die of crying...
I WILL.
nobody gonna stops me.
NOW. wat i think of is me n cristiano.
THATS ALL.
i believe i love him n nobody gonna change my mind.
thinking of him made me feel more happy.
even tough my life is worst..
ive got to accept it.
it is fate.
now, in my world. there's only me and cristiano.
im just feeling that if evrybody was gonna hate me.
and evrybody was gonna leave me.
it will be just me and cristiano.
GOSH WHY AM I CRYING?!
stupid me.
this doesn't goes to anyone.
its just me.
the way i am..now..forever.
:',(((

você desejo sempre ser uma fração ye me♥1:42 AM

---

SHAF ♥ CRISTIANO
------------------------------------------
SHAFFIESHAFFIESHAFSHAF loving&missing her babes&dudes.
------------------------------------------ ♥SHAFFIESHAFFIESHAFSHAF
NurShafiqah Bte Mohd Muklas/Mrs Cristiano Messias Ronaldo Dos Santo Aveiro;
SHAF♥ better.
married to |♥Cristiano|
half malay half portuguese ehem!
hating and loving is just a part of lifee.
a BIG BIG girl with BIG BIG dreams and HIGH HIGH hopes.
someone fun once you know her.
dangerously_in_luv_gal@hotmail.com(msn) ;))
------------------------------------------ ohh, fairy godmother!
*cristiano ronaldo♥♥♥
*khai♥♥ back
*ayun♥♥
*wan♥♥ back
*ahmad♥♥ back
*meet hot emos
*meet hot rockers
*meet hot footballers
*meet hot shufflers
*meet hot actors
*meet hot hunks
*cats(fake/real)
*babies/barbie dolls xD
*mp3
*iPhone
*iPod
*Cotton-On shirts
*SHADESSS!!!
*hoodies
*skinny jeans?
*straight jeans
*tight fit jeans
*new sony ericson walkman phone!
*sony earpiece(not walkmwan's)
*Fazilah to Die Die Die!
*shorts
*3/4 shorts or jeans
*laptop!
*DELL laptop
*NO SCHOOL!
*only friends
------------------------------------------ let's talk talk
(spammers f. off. No Courage to write your name;
then why have the courage to tag?-.-)